So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
