whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
