i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
