If that was your dad, he is hot
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
