What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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