We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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