Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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