i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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