the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
