so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
