Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
