Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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