Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
