Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
