i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
