he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize