I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
