Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
