i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
