Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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