Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
