I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
