is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
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