My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
