yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
