In the future we'll all be gay
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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