love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
