when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
