i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
