Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
