We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
