there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
