break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
