Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
