Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I look better un-naked...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
