So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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