he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
