I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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