so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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