Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
