Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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