Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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