Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
