I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
North Korea, Best Korea!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
