someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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