I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
