Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
