Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If I die, sorry about rent.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
