I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
