I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
