my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
