we have pet lesbian snakes
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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