The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
