Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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