Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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